Stuck In Loneliness
Einat began to speak without pause, “I’m 35, never had a relationship, I really, really lonely. I want to touch, like a spouse. I feel like a black hole in the heart hard, I breathe I want to be alone”
“I go out dates again and ag
ain and I can not get through the first date, everyone who I like – and I am very willing to compromise – not calling and I already know the end date that will not happen. I do not know what’s wrong with me, but I can not go on like this . I think I smell desperate men ”
What do you mean, they “smell you’re desperate”? I asked, “They understand I’m 35 my biological clock ticking and the pressure to find a mate, sorry, father children, and they probably think I see them only as a potential sperm donor.” And it really so? “Absolutely not, what really matters to me is to find a mate, I’m not even sure what I feel about children, until very recently I was still a child, what I want is a friend”
So why do you think the men you’re interested in them feel desperate? Is the broadcasting something desperate? Behaving differently than usual?
“The truth is that when I met a man I like, I lose a bit of the north, I stop to think of myself into some ways to be transparent and lecturer.” Thus ended the first meeting.
“Last week was very difficult,” said Einat at the beginning of the meeting, “I was flooded with a lot of things I kept in neat little boxes packed. I had many hours of thoughts and crying and I realized I’ve always like this”
Einat, director of a government institution, academic, lives in an apartment – neat. Einat asked to tell about her life, she told the university graduated with honors, the military service intelligence soldier as interesting, active in Boy Scouts, school and friends was always an excellent student and brought pleasure to parents, said a good relationship with her brother, a very good marriage parents, couples who also was wanted for herself, that her friends and love, the last couple of Alon’s death, her brother who died at the age of eight months. two and a half after the deceased was born Amir. I’ve been I was twelve. Amir light brought home. I love to spend hours with him today.
Some more books on the death of an oak, I asked. Einat’s eyes filled with tears “I do not know much about it, but he died of heart surgery, he was born with a defective hard we did not know much about him, but there were many parents in the hospital, Dad said there were problems in the diagnosis and treatment and very angry, very much. A lot years I did not think about it ”
Do you see any connection between the death of your brother’s difficulty finding a relationship, I asked? “No, What could it be?, It was very difficult event that united the family after we got the Amir, he brought home a joy and hope”
In the following sessions we talked about last time Einat family died after a questionnaire. Einat quietly and slowly remembered that befell the house. “There was silence, no one spoke, I do not remember who was crying, all functioned properly, and I remember trying to help in whatever I could, I tried not to interfere with or be a burden, everything about me was fine, studying, taking care of myself, I did All alone. I did not bring friends home to any noise and will not interfere with that. You know, I think about it here and I started to be transparent, that’s where I disappeared, I went on tiptoe to be seen. I think that grief of the father and mother was so big there was room for anything else, I remember my father for weeks was coming home and did not know where he is. I remember the anger and rage outbursts and his mother were not able to try to calm him down. I was nine years old then aged a bit and I think at the same time in many years. I think about it since that time I laughed, because laughter makes noise, I became a lecturer, really good girl ”
Einat was crying, tears of anger, tears of sorrow for the girl not to be, the girl who was not. “I see my parents but I have chosen them upset my brother and me dead. Because of my brother’s death, even I went through a kind of death, I stopped living.”
Einat next few weeks continued dialogue with the child inside her, the girl walking on tiptoe and learned to walk again. Einat has chosen to write the last book of all. She wrote in two voices, Einat described the painful emotional encounter with the inner child inside of her, with memories of childhood, and wrote about the dreams she had and she was going to fulfill these.
Einat understand fear, such an experience could happen to her marriage, he is stopping her from being in touch. Fear of a terrible event could happen in that family would be the place where her mother was unthinkable for her.
Time passed and Einat has become less transparent and more lies and knows what she wants. She talked about her readiness to enter the link and establish relationships.
Written by Top Escort Agency
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