Find The Right One…
Even asking the question do not always know the right answer. People Ahnimcim before or during double contact, still struggling, debating and do not always know whether the son / daughter pair with them are, are indeed the couple that “correct” them.
The first question you asked and her answer is: For what purpose? What type of connection?
That there is a significant difference in objective response is short-term relationship is non-binding or binding long-term relationship.
About short-term, such as a short fling or a serious, no matter if your partner changed my cultural background characteristics of its mental. Was he educated or not.
Many times, the various couples drawn character traits from me, thinking that “it’s cool”, “It’s exciting,” “it’s a mystery” and so forth reasons.
Sometimes even such a link carries a secret hope that the son / daughter pair is different from me “complete”
And “fill” the feature that I had missed me, and we were eager for us to have one.
Thought the assumption that if Atahber with a partner different from me, he supposedly “complete” and fill this particular feature me, fill me this missing feature, is wrong. If you want to purchase the property you wish it so, you must do it yourself, and not “fill” feature that I so wish and wants through the spouse at her side.
Training and many studies show that:
Not only that the couple who differ from us the features you want, do not complete us we have the desired feature, but the contrary: Over time, the feature for which we were drawn to the spouse of the opposite sex becomes an impediment to empowering the feature “missing” in me, so it makes me nervous … .
Moreover, this feature becomes most irritating and annoying feature for me mate.
If yes, then a partner is right for me?
The answer lies in the type of relationship you want to create our character:
Leston a short temper, or meeting requires not want to reach out to spend, really suitable for a partner is different from me, because it is attractive, cool, mysterious and fascinating:
If I am a cheapskate, I am very impressed Bat pair of large House extravagance, waste me money on loot romantic gifts and gestures makes me out to restaurants prestigious …
If I’m a quiet, modest and shy, a pair of dominant and obvious that “the center of things” and friendly to be attractive and fascinating to me in “Animals”, Huetaliut vitality which …
If I’m a serious, heavy, light-hearted woman I Atpal, laughs easily and has a sense of humor ….
But with time, when the relationship became serious, or about the first place I want a serious, generous partner perceived extravagance, vibrant partner’s perceived shy about “Comi” – one that requires cries non-stop attention, easygoing partner sometimes look silly, and so on.
If my character is open, Kerry says, nature contains, receives, not judgmental and critical,
There is no problem to join a partner is different from me, provided that I accept it as is, without any need for “change” him or the feature that I love.
Needless to say, not to cultivate expectation and hope that one fine day he will change the character and behavior.
Adults do not change so easily, if they do not want it or not produce benefit or pleasure.
Similar energetic frequency –
Man or woman interested in serious relationship, you should match their energy level, ie, if the guy’s temperament, should also be active and active girl, thinking guiding principle leading to long-term relationship, which is serious and requires, there will be fewer gaps between the couple.
In summary:
* I like a pair of goals for life –
Desirable long-term relationship and you should choose a son / daughter pair of similar cultural backgrounds, education is close to me, character traits similar goals to mine, out so that there are many more topics of conversation a few gaps between us, unless, I get really, the variance of the boy or different partner than me, and I do not for judicial review of these features, and I have no expectations, hopes and illusions that one fine day he or she will change.
* A partner with an energetic frequency similar to mine –
If I am a partner with high-frequency energy: a busy and active, have a spouse with a similar energy frequency:
Requires a serious relationship, you should choose a son / daughter pair of energetic frequency similar to mine: If I am a active and lively, loves to dance, go for walks and busy, with a partner who likes low-frequency energy to lie in front of the television, likes to dance or walk, do not suit me And many gaps between us …
* A partner in his worldview, his approach to life as close as I can – that is, the less gaps between spouses are the needs and values.
Serious relationship, requires long-term should be a few gaps as possible between partners.
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Couples Therapy
T
his relationship to be more difficult than it looks from the outside.
A real relationship, marriage or living together for a long time require patience and forbearance, and sometimes when you try something Matpakshkes all.
Not all experts, or Wizards were born in a marriage. Even if we have good qualities, and we found a partner that we believe is appropriate, there will be problems in relationships often require couples counseling – to us to be afraid of it, ashamed of our friends or our neighbors but to read out loud, we want to improve the relationship so we double Consultation.
What is odd advice?
Training an experienced professional looking at the relationship from an objective standpoint the “bridge between the warring parties.”
Why is it good?
Good and stable relationships who feel that something is beginning to crack, to couples who are trying to Last Change the divorce process.
How to choose a consultant partner?
Testing, testing and again experience. Although some academic programs, there is no doubt that his experience particularly smart in this area.
If you have problems, do Atatbeisnu, contact couples therapy.
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Stuck In Loneliness
Einat began to speak without pause, “I’m 35, never had a relationship, I really, really lonely. I want to touch, like a spouse. I feel like a black hole in the heart hard, I breathe I want to be alone”
“I go out dates again and ag
ain and I can not get through the first date, everyone who I like – and I am very willing to compromise – not calling and I already know the end date that will not happen. I do not know what’s wrong with me, but I can not go on like this . I think I smell desperate men ”
What do you mean, they “smell you’re desperate”? I asked, “They understand I’m 35 my biological clock ticking and the pressure to find a mate, sorry, father children, and they probably think I see them only as a potential sperm donor.” And it really so? “Absolutely not, what really matters to me is to find a mate, I’m not even sure what I feel about children, until very recently I was still a child, what I want is a friend”
So why do you think the men you’re interested in them feel desperate? Is the broadcasting something desperate? Behaving differently than usual?
“The truth is that when I met a man I like, I lose a bit of the north, I stop to think of myself into some ways to be transparent and lecturer.” Thus ended the first meeting.
“Last week was very difficult,” said Einat at the beginning of the meeting, “I was flooded with a lot of things I kept in neat little boxes packed. I had many hours of thoughts and crying and I realized I’ve always like this”
Einat, director of a government institution, academic, lives in an apartment – neat. Einat asked to tell about her life, she told the university graduated with honors, the military service intelligence soldier as interesting, active in Boy Scouts, school and friends was always an excellent student and brought pleasure to parents, said a good relationship with her brother, a very good marriage parents, couples who also was wanted for herself, that her friends and love, the last couple of Alon’s death, her brother who died at the age of eight months. two and a half after the deceased was born Amir. I’ve been I was twelve. Amir light brought home. I love to spend hours with him today.
Some more books on the death of an oak, I asked. Einat’s eyes filled with tears “I do not know much about it, but he died of heart surgery, he was born with a defective hard we did not know much about him, but there were many parents in the hospital, Dad said there were problems in the diagnosis and treatment and very angry, very much. A lot years I did not think about it ”
Do you see any connection between the death of your brother’s difficulty finding a relationship, I asked? “No, What could it be?, It was very difficult event that united the family after we got the Amir, he brought home a joy and hope”
In the following sessions we talked about last time Einat family died after a questionnaire. Einat quietly and slowly remembered that befell the house. “There was silence, no one spoke, I do not remember who was crying, all functioned properly, and I remember trying to help in whatever I could, I tried not to interfere with or be a burden, everything about me was fine, studying, taking care of myself, I did All alone. I did not bring friends home to any noise and will not interfere with that. You know, I think about it here and I started to be transparent, that’s where I disappeared, I went on tiptoe to be seen. I think that grief of the father and mother was so big there was room for anything else, I remember my father for weeks was coming home and did not know where he is. I remember the anger and rage outbursts and his mother were not able to try to calm him down. I was nine years old then aged a bit and I think at the same time in many years. I think about it since that time I laughed, because laughter makes noise, I became a lecturer, really good girl ”
Einat was crying, tears of anger, tears of sorrow for the girl not to be, the girl who was not. “I see my parents but I have chosen them upset my brother and me dead. Because of my brother’s death, even I went through a kind of death, I stopped living.”
Einat next few weeks continued dialogue with the child inside her, the girl walking on tiptoe and learned to walk again. Einat has chosen to write the last book of all. She wrote in two voices, Einat described the painful emotional encounter with the inner child inside of her, with memories of childhood, and wrote about the dreams she had and she was going to fulfill these.
Einat understand fear, such an experience could happen to her marriage, he is stopping her from being in touch. Fear of a terrible event could happen in that family would be the place where her mother was unthinkable for her.
Time passed and Einat has become less transparent and more lies and knows what she wants. She talked about her readiness to enter the link and establish relationships.
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The Relationship Guide 